My daughters will be in a unique position in this world. One shared by many other daughters from bi-cultural families. My daughter will need to create their own standard of beauty and believe in it with all their mite. Each culture creates their own standard of beauty and no two cultures have the same standard. Some families spend most of their time in one culture and there for their daughter assimilates to that standard of beauty. However for those of us who hope to expose our daughter to both cultures this poses a problem.
Before you continue to read please remember that I am sharing what I know from my experiences. People can find argument with all beauty standard and I’m not looking for a fight. I’m trying to figure out what the beauty standard will be for my family. After going back and forth between cultures for several years these thoughts were weighing on my heart.
In the States to be beautiful you need to be white, tall and thin. My children will not be white. In the States if you are not white that’s ok, you are exotic. In the States you need to be thin. It’s ok if you are not model thin but you need to be a size in the single digits. If you do have a double digit size you hear she is beautiful for her size. In the States you should be tall. Clothes are made for someone who is 5 feet 7 inches. If you are shorter than that you have some searching to do and if you are taller than that you have some searching to do. Speaking of clothes the less, the smaller, the tighter, the better.
In Morocco the standard of beauty is light skinned, curvy, and fully covered in layers of beautiful fabric. Your nails should be short and free of polish. Toes rings are considered weird, nose rings are from India, and tanning is crazy. Clothing is loose and long. It comes in beautiful colors and dresses are always best. The longer, darker and softer your hair the better. One of the best things about Morocco is that women should eat. You are expected to be curvy in all the right places to prove that you are healthy. Skinny teens worry about not being curvy enough and darker skinned teens worry about not having light enough skin.
Now both cultures are full of beautiful women regardless of the people we see on TV. However my husband and I need to go our of our way to make sure our daughters know that they are beautiful they way that God will make them. Regardless of their skin color or clothing size. We need to make sure that they understand that healthy is beautiful. We also need to make sure they dress to respect themselves and God. That doesn’t mean all Kaftans all the time but it does mean booty shorts are banned in our house.
Stay tuned for the Sons Edition.